they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
