God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
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