this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
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you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize