i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
