i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
