ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
