Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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