You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Randomize
