hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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