Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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