I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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