I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
