just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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