$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize