just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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