I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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