Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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