porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
