So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
