you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
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He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
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If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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