Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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