He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
