another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
