i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
