And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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