Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
