Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
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