I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
