I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
