is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
