Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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