She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
