what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He? As in you personified your dick?
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
