Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
