apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
