What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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