Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
