girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
