she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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