Where did you get a picture of my penis
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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