We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
