She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
