So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
