I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
