I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
