the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
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They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
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Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time