She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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