Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
