thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
