While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize