The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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