her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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