I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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