He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
