You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Sorry about my life...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize