Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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