called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
