Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
