Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
