I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
