I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Randomize
