she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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